how can u be prego again
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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