in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
