That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
