Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
