More tranny stories later!
one two three fourrrrnication!
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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