sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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