First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
