you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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