On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
