I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize