why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
