I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
