last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
