she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
