I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
