you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
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