I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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