did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize