BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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