I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
