White coat. Heels.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
