Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
