brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
