Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
