Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
