i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
