did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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