i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
