i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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