My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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