do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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