quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
