Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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