Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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