Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
