I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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