Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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