You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
