Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Randomize
