i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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