You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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