you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
