I think im going to throw up on grandma
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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