I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
