I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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