You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
