Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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