have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
