ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
