we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
