Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
