I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Randomize