I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
