Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
