I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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