the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
