So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
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