Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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