I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
