she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
