I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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