What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
